Lollipops
by H2OSorceress
Summary: Artemis never liked lollipops, so Foaly uses it to his advantage. It might have worked, if Artemis wasn't Artemis


_This is set after _The Atlantis Complex_. It is also canon, unless you have read _The Last Guardian _preview. No parings. To get a better idea of the song, search it on YouTube. This is written by H2OSorceress._

_**Disclaimer:**__** I own neither **_**Artemis Fowl _nor _Lollipop _by _The Chordettes.**_  
_

**Fowl Manor, Northern Ireland**

Artemis Fowl the second, leaned back in his chair, slipping silently out of his shell for a small 'breather'. Many events occurred over the past couple of months and he needed to relax. Mainly, Artemis had begun to slowly work through his complex, with help from his mother, Butler, and Holly, while hiding what he was doing from his brothers and father. The reason for Holly's presence was that she was keeping an eye (or two) on Artemis, as he continued his recovery in the comfort of his own home.

With closed eyes, he ran a hand through his raven black hair, breathing slowly in and out. So many thoughts were racing through his head, so many ideas… no, he wouldn't go there; all the Fowls were reformed now.

Quickly, Artemis turned on the radio to a random station, wanting to prevent where his thoughts were leading him. A new song had just begun that he was unfamiliar with. He listened to the bouncy opening, trying to focus on the tune. It was most likely a song about springtime, sunlight, young love, and bunnies. 'Humph,' he thought. Unlike most people, Artemis knew life wasn't always like that.

_"Lollipop, lollipop_…" The tune cheerfully repeatedly itself, with an annoying popping sound that matched the lyrics*. Then he froze, staring at the radio, as if it's harmlessness was hiding the notorious Opal Kobi or worse.

Artemis jumped back quickly, falling from his chair to the floor. The dreaded word riveted his mind, repeating itself over and over.

"HOLLY! BUTLER!" he bellowed, his voice interlaced with some trace amounts of fear. The two who were called, instantly raced in, guns drawn. Their eyes checked for anything out of place, scanning through the room, in a single sweep. The two found nothing.

Artemis pointed a slender, but microscopically trembling, finger at the radio, which was continuing to croon the dreaded word merrily. Holly rolled her eyes at his antics and yanked out the radio's power cord from the socket. Butler gently pulled Artemis up off the floor and brushed non-existent dust and dirt off his principle. Artemis quickly gathered the remains of his composure.

All of a sudden, Beckett, Artemis's little brother, burst into the room, bearing a gift and a beaming smile. The gift was a lollipop, which Artemis immediately paled at the sight of.

"Come on, Artemis! Me and Myles got a whole bucketful!" Beckett innocently and cheerfully exclaimed. Artemis, still not reacting to the appearance of the candy, didn't correct his naive brother's improper grammar, as the younger sibling pulled his brother from his two older companions, hand still clamped on the sweet. At least, Beckett wasn't a Greek**.

**Operations Booth, Haven, Lower Elements**

"Well folks, that lovely number was 'Lollipop' by the Chordettes. The playing of this song is dedicated to my friend…Arty!" narrated the familiar egotistical voice.

"That's all for today, Haven Citizens. Listen in every day here on CenSense, not for the dense, the voice-wave*** version of horsesense," Foaly the centaur, declared as he wrapped up. He grinned slyly (if you can grin slyly, when you have horse-like teeth) at the screen in front of him. It showed one Artemis Fowl's bedroom. The genius centaur had recorded every moment of the incident. The mudboy would be begging at his feet… well, hooves.

Chuckling, he checked the recording. It wasn't there, only a message that read, "_My dear centaur, your plan has gone awry. I hope you enjoyed my acting. You are to pay Beckett, in whatever form he wishes. If you try anything like this again, I will reveal to the entire LEP, that when you are in need of technical help, you ask your dear nephew Mayne, in exchange for an ice cream. Sincerely, The Hunter_".

"No!" the echo was heard all across Haven and surrounding burrows. Foaly had been foiled by the mudboy. Again.

_**The End**_

_*I don't mean any disrespect to the song or the singers; I am trying to show Artemis's personality and attitude. I personally like the song._

_**This refers to the story with the Trojan horse, the Trojan War, and "Beware of Greeks baring gifts". I mean no disrespect to Greeks._

_***It sounds more hi-tech than radio  
_


End file.
